I
had now given the Greeks to the grave
game of spurring. Ajax had played his
jacks for tonight.
Their equations lost to a stark-eye lull.
A riptide anxiety broke the exchange
of warm beer, recall and focal laughs.
Retreat: the enclosure of a mystic.
That wooden-fixed anchoress that
never fixed her hair for love, never
toiled the earth for a showing, but
pitied herself to recollect her Trinity.
Fallen men became breakfast, stuck to
a ruined bed that was her square for
an uncomfortable bliss that was sure
and the vehicle for our heaven.
game of spurring. Ajax had played his
jacks for tonight.
Their equations lost to a stark-eye lull.
A riptide anxiety broke the exchange
of warm beer, recall and focal laughs.
Retreat: the enclosure of a mystic.
That wooden-fixed anchoress that
never fixed her hair for love, never
toiled the earth for a showing, but
pitied herself to recollect her Trinity.
Fallen men became breakfast, stuck to
a ruined bed that was her square for
an uncomfortable bliss that was sure
and the vehicle for our heaven.
In this world, men have no chance. Whether sliced away in an arena, made anxious by peers at the bar or used and tossed in the bedroom, they cannot find comfort, acceptance, peace.
ReplyDeleteWow! A complex piece. I have to be honest and say I struggle to fully understand it. But that is most likely a fault in me and not in the work.
ReplyDeleteA wonderful mythical piece, embracing the presence of Gods and the brutality of War:-))
ReplyDeletestriving with men and gods....hmm.fascinating piece.to add to what Kim says, peace for us is rather ephemeral.a handful of moments that disappear too soon.
ReplyDeleteThis really was a masterful write. I read it over three times to savor the layers. I really liked the description of that 'wooden-fixed anchress.' Can't add much more to what Kim has expressed.
ReplyDeleteI particularly like the second stanza, especially your definition of "retreat."
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2009/02/02/in-my-own-space/
This one is filled with tension and expectation. I enjoyed reading it alouded just for the words and lines, too.
ReplyDeleteBack again... to let you know I just bought Julian's revelations. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteLove "retreat: the enclosure of a mystic"....and, especially, the last stanza........."an uncomfortable bliss that was...... the vehicle for our heaven". Wow!!!!
ReplyDeleteA richly layered piece. Your final stanza is especially poignant. Strong write.
ReplyDeleteI too liked the final stanza--there is much here to digest and sift through--richly hued writing!
ReplyDeleteAll those images spurring here. Quite complex and interesting! I like the 'wooden-fixed anchoress' too.
ReplyDelete"A riptide anxiety broke the exchange
ReplyDeleteof warm beer, recall and focal laughs."
This is great. Poetic effort and polish, just fantastic lines...
Very deep. Worthy of lengthy consideration. Thanks for this.
ReplyDelete